Ben Stiller Opens Up About What He Wishes He’d Done Differently as a Father to Ella and Quinlin — and How He’s Still Learning Every Day
Ben Stiller has made millions laugh for decades, but when it comes to family, the actor and director admits he hasn’t always gotten everything right. In a rare, heartfelt reflection, the 59-year-old opened up about the challenges of balancing fame, work, and fatherhood — and what he thinks he “got wrong” while raising his two children, Ella and Quinlin.
At the premiere of his new documentary Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost at the New York Film Festival, Stiller spoke candidly with People about his relationship with his late parents, comedy icons Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, and how their influence shaped his own parenting journey. The project, which chronicles the bond he shared with them, also gave him a chance to explore how he has handled being a father himself.
Stiller shares his two children with his wife, actress Christine Taylor, 54, and admits that parenthood has been one of the most humbling experiences of his life. “When you’re young and starting out, you think you can juggle it all — career, family, everything,” he said. “But as time goes on, you realize that you miss things. There are moments you can’t get back.”
The actor, known for Meet the Parents, Zoolander, and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, described how the long hours and intensity of Hollywood work often kept him away from home more than he wanted. “There were times I thought providing and working hard was enough,” he reflected. “But being physically there isn’t the same as being emotionally present. That’s what I had to learn the hard way.”
Stiller explained that much of his self-reflection came after his children grew older and began sharing their own perspectives on his parenting. “It’s not always easy to hear,” he admitted with a smile, “but it’s necessary. Kids have a way of showing you the truth about yourself — and that’s a gift.”
The actor said reconnecting with Christine Taylor after a period of separation also made him a better father. “Christine and I worked through things together, and that stability matters for our kids,” he said. “I learned that love isn’t just about being there in the good times — it’s about showing up consistently, even when life gets messy.”
For Stiller, his parents’ legacy is a constant reminder of what matters most. Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, who were married for over 60 years, balanced show business and family with humor and authenticity. “They always made space for us,” he said. “Even when they were busy, they made sure we felt loved. That’s what I try to carry forward — even if I didn’t always get it right from the start.”
As his children pursue their own paths — Ella, 23, and Quinlin, 20, are both exploring creative careers — Stiller said he’s learning to let go and trust them. “You can’t control everything,” he shared. “You can only love them, support them, and be honest about your mistakes. That’s what builds real relationships.”
In many ways, Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost is not just a tribute to his parents but a reflection of Ben Stiller’s own growth — as a son, a husband, and a father who continues to learn what family truly means. “It’s never too late to become the parent you want to be,” he said quietly. “That’s something my kids taught me.”
