irish mum shot in stomach by her ex during a visit to collect her child’s belongings—her survival and bravery will move you
I remember reading the headline and feeling a pit open in my stomach. An Irish mum, Eileen Gibbons, shot in the stomach by her ex-partner while she was simply trying to collect her child’s things. She survived. Her daughter, her roots in Mayo, her gentle strength—all flickered in that image of a mother standing tall despite everything.
Eileen, a social worker from County Mayo, had moved to Australia seeking new beginnings. She carved out a life for herself and her daughter, Sylvia. But behind that brave facade was a relationship that turned increasingly toxic. Ralph Donald, her ex, struggled with alcohol and anger. He was never physically violent—at least not in a way that ever landed him in court—but Eileen described a growing tension, controlling behavior that forced her to flee repeatedly. At times, she and Sylvia were effectively homeless.
All of this was mounting in the background when on October 3, 2023, Ralph called Eileen and asked her to come to his house in Millner, in Darwin, to pick up their daughter’s belongings. She went, with Sylvia asleep in the back seat, and was greeted by Ralph’s mother and brother. Ralph held his daughter for a moment, kissed her goodbye, and then disappeared into the house. Moments later, he emerged with a rifle. Holding it in his hands, he confronted Eileen and whispered, “Do you want to die?”
She turned and ran. A single shot pierced her abdomen, and she collapsed to the ground. Ralph then took his own life. In those terrible, frantic seconds, his brother Charles rushed forward and placed himself between Ralph and Eileen. He dragged her to safety, applied pressure on her wound, called emergency services—and for all that, his act was one of enormous bravery.
Eileen was rushed to Royal Darwin Hospital in critical condition. Posts from friends and family in Ireland shared how she was able to speak, how she reunited with her baby in hospital, and how her family flew halfway around the world to be by her bedside. Messages of support came in from thousands. They spoke of her resilience—the social worker who had cared for so many was now being cared for herself.
Fast forward nearly two years, and the Northern Territory Coroner has begun an inquest into the events that led to that shooting. Eileen shared her story via video link from Ireland, recounting the emotional abuse, the signs that should have set off alarms, the calls to police—five of them, in fact—that tried to signal her desperation. Police testified that at the time they didn’t see physical evidence of abuse, so they didn’t issue a domestic violence order. But now, looking back, we all see clearer. Her calls were cries for help, cries that went unanswered in ways we’re still trying to understand.
The inquest isn’t just trying to detail what happened—it’s probing how systems failed her, how we failed her. In Northern Territory, the statistics on domestic violence are among the worst in the world, and each case forces us to ask harder questions. How do we recognize coercive control when there’s no bruises? How do we listen to women like Eileen sooner, better, more compassionately?
I think of her strength—the way she shared her story, how she’s pushing forward. For her daughter’s sake, yes, but also for so many others trapped in silence. And I think how ordinary love, even in crisis, can turn into an act of survival—like Charles’s arms pulling her out of danger, like hope finding a way through the smallest spark.
